How It's Laid Out
The book is predominately laid out in three parts.
- The Emotional Ingredients
- Real-World Scenarios
- Exercises
In The Emotional Ingredients, Gary relays his definitions for his thirteen characteristics for success and happiness.
As part of the Introduction, he admits his own weakness in one of these ingredients (#13 – Kind Candor). It is from this admission that the book’s title came about. While there are thirteen ingredients, he feels that he has only yet gotten comfortable delivering on twelve. #13 represents his “half”.
Part #2 (Real-World Scenarios) was clearly my favorite as he shared how he would deliver and blend each in normal day-to-day situations.
The third part (Exercises) gives examples and actions that a reader can improve in each of the characteristic areas.
If you enjoy book reviews and “quick notes”, I reviewed E-Myth Revisited (Amazon affiliate link) by Michael Gerber. You can check out my notes at this link.
The Emotional Ingredients
Here we get the list and definitions.
(Note: In many cases, Vaynerchuk shared and preferred more nuanced definitions. Mostly, the changes focused on individuals acting from a position of control and intent as opposed to being “victims of circumstance”. )
- Gratitude
- Self-Awareness
- Accountability
- Optimism
- Empathy
- Kindness
- Tenacity
- Curiosity
- Patience
- Conviction
- Humility
- Ambition
- Kind Candor
It is expected that people are at different points in their unique journeys. Some of us are stronger in some; weaker in others. It is through the process of evaluating our relative strengths and weaknesses that we can decide where and how to focus our energies.
Editor’s Note: It is a common theme from Gary that we can often get better results growing our strengths as opposed to trying to develop where we are weaker. He makes that point in the book, but do not miss the acknowledgment that there are minimum requirements that we should all work to meet.
While our weaker areas may not become “strengths”, there are measures of proficiency that are required. Along that vein, don’t ignore certain attributes just because developing them “is harder”.
Seek effectiveness and the best ways to achieve it.
Real-World Scenarios
As mentioned above, Real-World Scenarios was my favorite part of the book. While the first part defining the characteristics (from his viewpoint) is required, it is his insight into how to implement them in day-to-day situations that were most valuable to me.
Some of the examples were from his own business experience (currently at VaynerX or from the past). Others were from questions or messages that he goes from his community.
Underlying almost all of the responses are his central themes of building Happiness, seeing opportunities for inclusion (“And”, not “Or”), and realizing that our perception of reality is woefully limited.
Keep these things in mind as you go about your day.
- If you are doing things that do not bring your Happiness, then you need to understand why and be sure that you are deciding that course of action. (Without this, a whole host of negative emotions can take hold!)
- While there are exclusive options, we often limit ourselves by the assumption of binary choices. Where things can be “both-and”, the outcomes usually outperform “either-or” choices.
- Our brains are trained to “fill in the blanks” where information is incomplete. Oftentimes, we are wrong (especially when it relates to judging motives and intent for other people).
If these three insights are all that someone gets from this book, it will have been worth whatever you paid to get it!
Exercises
The Exercises share one or more actions that we can perform to gain strength/develop in each specific attribute.
Most involve identifying an event or behavior where we fell short in a particular area and sharing with others how we intend to respond differently in the future.
Few things will help us develop Humility, become more Accountable, and build Self-Awareness than putting it out for the world to see.
Editor’s Note: I’ll be working through the Exercises over the next few weeks. If you would like to follow along in my progress, be sure to connect via Twitter (@SwamiDaveSays).
Final Thoughts
I definitely recommend this book. If you are looking for a “holiday read”, pick one up and check it out.
If you are familiar with GaryVee’s other “business books”, this one is a little different. It is less about specific techniques or business practices, but more about the “Emotional Intelligence” (often labeled EQ) that he sees as required for leaders.
As for getting a copy, you can buy one via this Amazon link (affiliate).
However, it is currently very easy to get a cheaper (or even free) copy from others within Gary’s community. You can find them on Twitter under the hashtag (#BookGames) or just pose the question of “Where can I get a copy?” under the book’s Twitter handle (@twelveandahalf).
No matter how you acquire it, get one, read it, and put it to work for you and your organization!
P.S. I’d really like to hear what you thought about the book (and how you are using it to build these attributes within your life).
