Sirus Digital Newsletter – Edition 105

It is rare when Life affords you two clear and unique situations that clearly highlight one of its Truths. I had that this week as it relates to how we can best respond to rejection (or a ‘No’).

Realistically, most of us hate hearing ‘No’. We have usually weighed options, justified our choice, and prepared supporting logic that we plan to use to convince decision-makers.

…then, we get ‘No’.

Some of us respond better than others, but none of us like rejection.

I saw two classic examples of what not to do this week.

In the first case, the recipient responded in what could be the worst possible way. They asked ‘Why?’ preparing to engage in a debate of reasons.

Right or wrong, it is a rare occasion that we will win that debate and sway the decision maker. More often than not, it serves to further cement their decision and creates an unfavorable perception that could impact future interactions.

In the second case, the recipient responded by trying to change the parameters of the situation and decision to achieve what they wanted. This became a continued and repeated litany of amendments intended to eventually overcome the justifiable reasons their plan was rejected.

Again, false & manipulative “compromise” that tries to work around the objection often just frustrates the decision maker and achieves very little.

Note: This particular tactic is common among children “needling” their parents trying to wear them down to get what they want. It is annoying in children and near infuriating in adults.

A better way to respond to ‘No’ is to focus on the outcomes and what time/resources it will require to carry out the decision!

Take those justifiable reasons that you originally prepared to defend your idea & highlight what will be required to satisfy them under this decision. Be sure to avoid using them in an attempt to undermine the decision; just highlight what things will need to be done to achieve it.

Sometimes, the decision maker might change their mind if this brings some “blind spot” that they did not consider to light. In other times, they will have considered the higher cost/risk (and be willing to accept it).

In either case, you will have accepted their decision in light of the facts/expectations as they are currently known. You will also have shared what you will need to follow through on it.

I would love to hear if this is something you are experiencing. Shoot me an email (david_at_sirusdigital.com) if you have some examples of your own.

Either way, have a great week!

-D